[Post Carolina-Tex match]

"Oh, if only." He settled back into his chair a little further, crossing his ankle over his other leg and leaning back to hold his mug with both hands. Carolina's face is visible though at an odd angle from where he sits, and he trains his eyes on her for a moment as he stifles a sigh. "My sister made a petition for one of her AIs," he admitted in a quiet tone, nodding once in direction of Carolina's prone form.

He hoped it wasn't something like a mission. He could go, sure, and he could do it, but he knew that he wouldn't feel right about it leaving no one behind to watch over her. Hell, half the time he didn't even know if the Director cared enough to check on her. God knows he hadn't seen him this whole time.

Of course, when he heard the news, he didn't know if he was relieved, or disgusted. Still, it was North's sister. He shot the other man a dubious look, like he was waiting for the punch line. "After what she saw happened to Carolina?"

He nodded slowly. That was the other part. "After everyone saw what happened to Carolina. Wash is still up for surgery." Blind ambition wasn't that surprising coming from South, but with Wash... North didn't know what to think about the fact that he was still going through with it. If it was bravado, of wanting to avoid looking like he was afraid, well, there was no shame in that, considering everything that had gone on. But it might be the leadership not giving the young Freelancer any say in the matter. Neither option gave him much to feel optimistic about.

"What?" That part he was even less okay with. The kid didn't know what he was getting into. While Delta and York got along just fine- and, well, so did Theta and North, Wash getting one of the AI wasn't something York was entirely thrilled about. Not until they knew what was making everyone so off.

He had not been lying when he'd said Sigma gave him the heebie jeebies a little bit, and until all of this was figured out, Wash going into that blind wasn't something that prompted enthusiasm. "No one tried to talk the guy out of it?"

"I would have tried, but I haven't seen him since I heard." He tapped his thumb against the mug, staring off into middle space for a moment before training his eyes on York. "You know who it is that told me? Texas."

"Huh."

On one hand, he wasn't entirely surprised. Texas might be a hardass, but she's there, she's solid, and he can't say that she doesn't at least give a little of a shit about them.

"How did she find out?"

"I didn't think to ask. She does seem to notice things." More and more lately, as he'd mentioned to her when they'd spoken. It was different, and not unwelcome, but it was a change. "She seemed pretty concerned about it. About...well, about everybody. She asked me to let her know when Carolina wakes up."

That much was true and York knew it. Everyone gave Texas a wide berth and he couldn't really blame 'em, all things considered. She scared the piss out of a lot of people, and made the rest of them pretty damn uncomfortable. While York didn't mind her too terribly much, he figured he and North were the exception.

"When," York agreed after a moment of hesitation. It wouldn't be a matter of "if" she woke up, but "when." She had to. "Just wish I knew what to do to help it along, y'know?"

He nodded, looking back at Carolina again, shifting the mug into one hand. "Yeah. I do." Not just because he would feel the same way if it was someone he was as close to as York had always been with Carolina, not just because she was the one who had always led the missions and team exercises, but because of the implications for all of them as this continued to drag out. That was the most frustrating--and concerning--part of this, that no one who should know the answers seemed to be doing much of anything at all. Not the doctors, not the Director--the person who seemed to feel the most responsibility for their part in this whole situation was Texas.

Unfortunately, lingering here the way York had been doing wasn't helping either one of them much. For one thing, North wouldn't be surprised if York had a near-permanent crick in his neck by now, sleeping in that weird position. He couldn't be sleeping very deeply like that, either. North came out of his short reverie to glance at the other man. "When was the last time you ate? Not snacks, but real food."

He wouldn't be able to lie- Carolina had made a lot of shitty decisions lately, but who didn't, sometimes? She was tired, trying to protect her team, trying to keep everything together. York could understand that. As soon as she woke up, he'd just try and help her get past that, try and help her get back to how things worse, before all of this.

Exhaling, York yawned and took another drink of his coffee, cracking his neck with his hand against his chin when he was finished. "...I dunno, man. I just don't want to leave her alone."

"I could hang out here until you get back," he offered. It wouldn't be the same, of course, not in York's mind, but North didn't want him to run himself into the ground. There was no telling how long this would go on and he still needed to think of his own physical needs. "I'll get a hold of you right away if anything changes. Have something to eat, hit the gym--you've got to be pretty restless by now, as long as you've been here."

The offer was something he was grateful for, no doubt about that. York mulled it over for a moment, dragging a hand over his face, cringing at the scruffiness of his beard. He needed a shower, needed to go shave, needed to get out and just walk the halls, really, and North recognized that.

He trusted the other Freelancer, no doubts there- if something happened, he'd let him know.

Gingerly, York stood, stretching until his back popped into place, groaning quietly.

"Okay, yeah, you win, man. Gimme an hour or so, okay?"

"Mmh." He shook his head a little. As long as it had taken him to agree to a break, it really needed to count. "Take as long as you need to recharge, York. I'm serious here, you ought to get some real sleep, too. I'll be here, don't worry about that."

Delta had been saying the same thing, but York was stubborn when he wanted to be. "I'll be fine, North. I'm a big kid, I tie my own shoes and everything." Sucking in a slow breath, he forced a smile onto his face. "'sides, you know if it was one of us in this bed, Carolina'd be here."

He took a few heavy steps over to the other man, though, and rested his hand on his shoulder, just holding it for a moment. "Thanks, though. I'll be back in a bit."

It'd been worth a shot, but he'd had a feeling that would be the outcome. He chuckled a little at York's remark, uncrossed his leg and set his foot on the floor to sit forward a little. He nodded at the thanks, giving York's hand a firm grip and pat. "'Welcome, man. You know where I'll be."

Some part of him wondered if maybe she'd wake up while he was gone -- he wanted to go and come back, hopeful that she'd be awake, but it wasn't that easy. He does what he can, instead. Runs a few miles, hard as he possibly can, takes a shower, shaves, and most importantly, goes to feed himself. It was a little over an hour when he came back, looking a little better, cradling two cups of coffee. The first gets plunked in front of North.

"No change?'

He looked up at his friend, handing him the empty mug in trade, and gestured his thanks with the incline of his head. He responded with a grunt in the negative in reply to the query. "No... No change. I wanted to think I heard her mumbling a little something at one point, but...I think I imagined it."

A chair gets dragged over from the side, and he gives Carolina a once-over, concerned. His fingers touch the side of her throat, double-checking the pulse just to be sure, and only then does he settle down, exhaling.

"No news might be good news," he attempted with some sort of cheer, but it fell flat and York shook his head, frustrated. "At this rate they're gonna need to hook her up to make sure she's getting fluids."

He couldn't help a frown, creasing his forehead. "They should have done that already." They'd both had field medical training. They both knew she'd been lying here getting dehydrated from the first day. Just what was it that was leading to less and less care being taken toward the agents, leaving them to fend for themselves, mentally, emotionally, now physically? None of it made any sense. It was turning into a waste of resources and if this continued...

"On the first day, I know. I tried to get someone to do something, but everyone conveniently had places to be." Every so often, someone will come in, and do something, and it's appreciated but it's not enough, not nearly enough in York's mind.

He had seen it too- the lack of care demonstrated for them, the fact that really, things were slipping-- leaving one of the best agents alone with barely anyone to care for her, except someone who volunteers? That didn't sit right with him, not at all.

He was disturbed by all this, it showed on his face, and he rested his mug against the side of his chair, nearly forgotten, as he thought this through. At least she was still ensconced in her armor. That would take care of waste removal, at any rate. Still in her armor, because she tried to fight at a time when she was far too vulnerable. And then, with one word, they had all been made vulnerable.

There was something to that whole incident, something that had very few available rational explanations. It all should have ended then. Something was terribly, terribly wrong and it needed to be investigated. At least, that was, if the leadership didn't already know what was going on.

When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, as though speaking of something that should be kept confidential. "Carolina...her real name isn't Allison. Is it." It wasn't really a question. Both of them knew it wasn't.

He was just as unsettled. The Director had at least pretended, before, damnit. Now, it was like he wasn't even paying attention, all he could focus on was Texas. Which, okay, York could understand to a point. Everyone had someone they cared about but none of them knew anything about her. He didn't hold it against her, but Carolina's given everything to the program, the least the Director could do was hold up his end and try to help her.

"--what?" York was jerked out of his thoughts, blinking up at his friend, only to frown a moment later. "No. No, it's not. Hey, I-- what did it...y'know, feel like? When the Director said her name?"

It was something that was going to be hard to put into words. He inclined his head slightly. "Like-- it was like..." He huffed out a small scoff at his inability to piece together a way to express it. "You remember when we talked about how Theta gets anxious? It was like...like that, and grief, and--and loss, all mixed together, and that...that was its name." He shook his head. That was a strange way to put it, but that was how it had felt.

He wasn't sure what he was more unsettled by- that Theta had felt the same thing ( and by default, North, too ) or the fact that either of them had felt it to begin with. Texas was brand new- the AI didn't know her, why would they feel that way?

"Heartbreak," York muttered it with a sheepish look, like he's wary of even using the word. "Yeah, it was just like that. So why the hell would D and Theta feel that way?"

Theta was emitting a small measure of sadness, even now, rolling the name over in his thoughts. But Theta didn't know what it meant any more than he did. "I don't know. It obviously has something to do with Texas. But I don't understand how it could. Because...because she's here, you know?" There was very much the sense that this was something long gone, long past, something unrecoverable.

Delta was always more reserved but even now, hell, even then, there was this intangible sort of loss that York couldn't quite understand. She was right there, half the time, and down the hall from them at night- why did it matter? He mulled it over a moment more, settling at their sides, with his hand back over Carolina's. "Maybe Tex knows."

"Tex, hm. Yeah, maybe." He was seeing more and more that in her own way she did care for the rest of the team, considered them friends. "You know, she said," here he glanced aside just to check that the Counselor wasn't sneaking up behind them or something, "she said she's been pulling Omega ever since it happened. Doesn't want the Director to know about it, either."

York gave the room a look while he was at it, frowning just a little bit at the fact that they even had to. Was this really what they had to deal with, now? "...she's pulling him?" His attention went right back to the other Freelancer, his good eye going focused on North's face, the disbelief clear and sharp in his tone. He lowered his voice after a moment, utterly startled. "But he-- why? You an' me get along just fine and, well, Wyoming's -- Wyoming. But I woulda thought they got on just fine."

His own gaze was back on Carolina, his eyes narrowed slightly in concentration, his tone musing. "She said she's not sure she wants to depend on him. She's...different without him. I pointed it out and she said that was why." There had to be something they were missing in all this, some piece of the puzzle that would make it all make sense, somehow. Something that didn't involve outright malice on the part of the leadership.

No shifting, no moving, nothing but the slow, even breathing for days now, and the more he stayed here, the more unsettled he was by it. With North standing watch, he was half tempted to go and find someone, get her hooked up to machines like she needed to be, no matter how much more unsettling that was. "She's not all bad, yeah," York agreed after a moment of hesitation, glancing at Carolina like he expected her to sit up and sock him for it. "I can understand that, anyway. Omega ain't exactly sunshine and snuggles."

"From what I've seen, no, he's not." He took a breath in through his nose, held it for a moment before letting it out. His coffee suddenly came to mind, having been neglected long enough now that he could drink a draft without needing to worry that he'd burn his tongue. He brought the mug back down with both hands and inclined his head toward York. "You know, with her still there in her armor, you could just hook your enhancement into it." It'd be more than the doctors had bothered to do.

For a moment, York just looked dumbly at the other Freelancer, the lack of decent sleep and worry and everything else not doing a single thing until he registers what he's saying. God, he feels like a moron. "Yeah, I-- you're right. Hang on a sec, I'm gonna go get it."

Sure, it needs an AI to help run it at full power, but even a little bit is something that ought to help. York takes his coffee cup with him, down the hall to his room and after a moment of fiddling, comes back with it firmly in his hands. He sets it up on the bedside table in Recovery One, settling in the faint green light as Delta monitors it. "...Y'know, sometimes I just-- wonder how we got to this. This wasn't what I thought it'd be."

"This isn't what it was." He wasn't sure when the transition had happened; it had been so slow, so insidious in a way, that he couldn't pinpoint it.

"No, no, it's not." York gave him a tired smile over the rim of his coffee cup, and it's half-empty but he feels better for it, considering he'd had real food to eat now. "Who knows, yeah? Maybe it'll get better."

He reserved his reply for a moment, swallowing back what he initially thought to say about it. "We'll see how things go for Wash," he replied with some caution. He hated being the pessimist in the room, because that wasn't his usual role, but the lack of caution being shown by the leadership in the aftermath of all this--he couldn't deny it, it had him worried.

York gave him a tired smile for his trouble, nodding. Sure, see how it went for Wash. With any luck, he'll get his, and everything will be fine. Carolina will wake up, this whole deal with Texas gets sorted, and they all go back to normal. "He's tough, he'll be fine." York flashed the other man a faint smile. "Stubborn as all hell. It's gotta do him some good, right?"

"You're sure you're thinking of the same Wash I am?" he replied with a wry chuckle. Sure, Wash could be stubborn, but he could also be naive and put his priorities in the silliest little minutia of following the rules instead of taking common sense into account. That sort of thing came with experience and with age and Wash was just a little bit short on both.

York laughs, short and soft, and gives him a shrug. Sure, Wash isn't exactly painfully soldier minded but he can handle himself a little bit. Going with the option and mentality that Wash would be just fine vastly outweighed everything else. "Better than thinking about all the ways this could go wrong, huh," York pointed out, tone as tired as he is.

"Normally, I wouldn't be." He stopped and glanced at York before letting his head drop a bit with a small sigh, his lips quirked up with embarrassment. "I suppose I ought to get out of this armor and get myself some sleep, too. Seems like these long days are making a pessimist out of me."

"Yeah, probably." York stood up, moving a little stiffly, but he circles around and curls his arm around North's shoulder with a heavy sigh, squeezing him tight for a moment. "Thanks. I mean it."

He can't really feel that, but the sentiment is there. He stands up to return the half-hug with a slap on the shoulder. "Let me know if you need me to take your place down here again. I don't have a problem with it."

[Post Carolina-Tex match]

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GODDAMNIT TENSES

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